So Where Do Rocks Live Anyways?

Welcome to yet another blog post with you're two favorite characters. Harv and Art. Artaxerxes has since switched his preferred nickname from Xer to Art, as it sounded more mature, and with his being a rock and all, he thought it might be better if he had a nickname that reflected his age-old wisdom... We will immediately dive into their discussions... When they had finished their staring contest, (which, incidentally, neither of them won) they finally agreed to begin educating the standard human about rocks some more...

First, they had to decide on a course of action. Thankfully for me, they were able to reduce the time it takes for them to talk, and they have been further developing their technology so that I can almost talk to them instantly, without any delay. They have also been planning their messages to a slight degree, so that we can communicate faster... So without further ado, I take you back to Harv and Art...

H: So first, let me say that we have been making some major steps in the fields of translation between different worlds. This is a very complex process, and humans can usually best understand it by relating it to a separate dimension. In fact, you might say its somewhat along the lines of a separate universe. There are certain things that must happen for rocks to survive, and this is what Art will be discussing with you...

A: Welcome back to our semi-communication form, and I am going to talk to you about how rocks survive. The first thing they need is some hard place to form. This is merely a figure of speech... Most rocks can form anywhere, its just their parents usually have hearts of stone, so they must learn to cope for themselves at early ages...

H: We actually don't abandon our young... We raise them until they can take care of themselves, and then we allow them to develop all their beliefs and feelings on their own. It is a process that has been coming under fire for the past few millennia...

A: Anyways, regardless how they develop, they are constantly fighting over real estate. There is a real shortage of prime rockland that can be used by rocks... We currently have some vacation spots in various locations around the world... Perhaps one of the most well-known one is out in the mid-west. I understand you humans have actually separated it into multiple areas. I personally prefer the area called "Arches National Park"... It is really pretty there, and the prices are rock-bottom!! Or maybe that's resort at the bottom of the ocean...

H: I personally like the vacation that takes you below the crust... Thats usually where they send people who have diseases. They specialize in what you humans call "plastic surgery." They can melt you down, and recreate you as whatever you want... It is still in the beta testing, due to the side-affects... Namely, death. They still haven't gotten the preservative drugs to keep rocks from dying before they can reform them...

A: I have thought about signing up to be a beta tester, but the risk is just too great... I think I can do more from outside the core of the earth...

At this point in time, while Harvey and Artaxerxes were both talking legibly, and I could understand them, and I was taking down everything they said, their conversations quickly disintegrated into discussions of the best vacation spots... Please join us next time as we further explore the amazing world of rocks!!